It’s the little things

As soon as it’s sleep time my body seems to come alive for all the wrong reasons. Last night I found it impossible to get comfy. Every muscle aches, though I do actually have more than I thought, maybe I am muscly after all. Here was me thinking I was just big boned! I remember saying to Rob at about 3am my muscles need juicing as in squeezing. That sounds very wrong now but felt appropriate at the time.

I am lucky to still have my childhood bestie. A smile across the desk on our first day at secondary school and the rest is history. She moved abroad after marrying a foreigner but I’m hoping she’ll come back to Essex soon. She flies down from Glasgow this weekend to see me.

We have matured together, on the phone every evening, both with an Argos catalogue. We used to compare the jewellery, as we got older it moved to the kitchen accessories and we’ve even done the garden sheds! Last night we discovered something new.

By chance one day I clicked on the ‘i’ at the top of the phone when Rob sent me a message. It showed me his location, complete with a map. I haven’t a clue how this happened. Rob calls it my tracking devise, I call it feeling close to him when he’s not here. When he was in Portugal the other week I followed him around the golf course. Not stalking or tracking, being affectionate and sharing.

Last night we discovered we could share each other’s locations. Whilst walking the dog every 20 minutes or so she’d text me, where am I now? Still makes me giggle now. 44 years old and still as childish as when we were 11!

Today is day 7, my immune system is at its lowest between days 7-10. I had the eye clinic this morning. Not going to dwell on it as now irrelevant but pleased I got the all clear.

I was looking forward to going out, first time I’ve been dressed since chemo. Goodness me it has knocked me for six! I was hoping to pick little one up from school but I’ll just have to be ready for my cuddle when she gets in. Bless her she’s grown up and showing her vulnerability this last week. Every morning she comes in and we have a cuddle before she gets herself ready for school (never had time before as I used to have to rush to get ready for work). She’s stopped hissing when her sister brushes her hair. Brushes her teeth every day and takes herself off to my lovely neighbour to go to school. Comes home every afternoon, puts hand gel on and comes straight up to give me a cuddle – there are some perks to this cancer malarkey!