Life carries on

I have been up, showered and dressed for three consecutive days. A major achievement if I don’t mind saying so myself.

Yesterday morning I even managed the school run with Rob. Number 5 child did want me to wear my wig but my head is still so sore I opted for a nice blue and green headscarf. She held my hand all the way from the car and her grip got tighter as we got closer to her classroom. She went in with a skip and a smile – definitely the little things.

Obviously I had to have a rest at Costa before I could do the shopping. I think I’m fine but my legs are so wobbly. I am sure Rob would have done it but shipping is always nicer in pairs and I needed a few things. I had cried when I brushed my teeth. The toothpaste felt like it was in an enemy spaceship and was firing my mouth so I had to get a toddler toothpaste. Not quite fluffy cotton clouds floating around my mouth but much soother.

Soon as I left the shop the first of 17 texts arrived from number 3 child. Tried ringing the school but they don’t answer, leave messages, no reply so we ended up having to go there.

Long story short, spent day in hospital (well only a few hours but felt like a whole day). Staff were fab and put me in a cubicle so I wasn’t near anyone, especially in the children’s emergency, lots of germs there! Not going to talk anymore about him.

Back home for cuppa and dinner then to the school for a meeting with the head. Haha bless him, he wasn’t expecting me! Hopefully now things will improve and my messages will be less.

Home at 7.30pm and a lovely visit from my beautiful friend from work. Finished an exhausting day perfectly. I am extremely lucky to work with such amazing people and I actually adore every single one of them!

Macmillian were running a thread on the breast cancer forum which I read every now and then (got told by the chemo nurse to ease off the site haha). It was asking people how friendships have changed since being diagnosed with breast cancer. Made me think, well I didn’t have to think much as it’s always on my mind.

I really am touched by how nice people are. I know everyone has their own life, families, work, problems but people take time out to message me. I’ve had texts, Facebook messages, phone calls, flowers, chocolates, cakes, presents, visitors, waves, hugs, sharing my post, liking my posts/pictures the list is endless and none more important than another, I’m comforted by your support. I even had someone in the playground offer to help my daughter if I needed it. I had to ask the next day who they were as I didn’t even know their name! Rob has messages too. There are a lot of good people in this world.

What has really upset me is the people I thought would be there and who aren’t. I spoke to someone, who always should be there, the day after chemo and nothing since. I tried phoning a few times but no answer and no return call. Another one sent me a lovely message last Monday, I phoned instantly as I couldn’t type as not being well at the time, no answer then a message to say, can’t talk right now will call later – that was 8 days ago. Then you see them telling other people, people they have never met, that they will always be there if they need someone to talk to.

This has made me really upset this last week and the few tears that I’ve cried have been because of it but things are changing. My beautiful aunt, despite her fighting her own battle, rings me most days, it is lovely that I have her on speed dial. We were comparing our chemo cravings at the weekend. My big sister rings me at least once a day, love her.

I know it’s so obvious and easy for us to say ‘focus on what we have not what we haven’t’. Such a strong statement but so very true and from this day forward …

Please do not stop being who you are and the comment above about nothing being more important, don’t stop with the cake 😊