3 more sleeps

It has been three days since my last confession, ops wrong person! I have had a wonderful few days with some amazing people.

First though I should share the fantastic news I received yesterday. My genetics consultant called to tell me my results were normal! I do not carry the brca mutation. To say I’m relieved is an understatement. This means my children will not definitely get this, they carry the same risk as everyone else, which is still too high but the best I can hope for!

I can’t remember what I’d shared last time, my memory is starting to let me down! I did the food shop all by myself. Took forever, I kept forgetting things and my legs kept wobbling but I managed it. Great achievement.

Saturday evening consisted of a lovely few hours with my friends, tears (not mine surprisingly), laughter, game of Blockbusters and a Chinese (no rice as it says to avoid it during chemo). Just as we were leaving noticed my hair had started falling out.

Sunday. Yes it did deserve a sentence all by itself. Was a day of two halves. I woke up really tearful. Kept crying for no reason at all. I have lots of bald patches on my head. Think I just needed to get used to my new reflection. Reality kicks in when anyone can visually see it. If you didn’t know me you wouldn’t notice the sadness in my eyes but everyone can see my bald patches. Although I am allowing the tears, I gave myself a little talking to, put some make up on and waited for my VIPs to arrive.

Was the perfect afternoon, so many giggles and I even had my nails painted. An afternoon of cheek aching laughs. It’s funny how certain people can come round and insult you and they leave with you adoring them even more. Still smile now at their visit.

Sunday evening Indian to celebrate another friend’s birthday (no rice). The day ended so much better than it started.

Monday another lovely visitor. An extremely busy lady who texts me constantly (no I will never find them annoying), she took time out of her very precious free time to come and see me. Another one I adore. I did need a little lay down yesterday afternoon.

Today is Tuesday, my lovely cousin who I hadn’t seen for nearly four years came to see me. I met her 15 year old twins for the first time. We really are a rubbish family for keeping in touch but when we need it, we are there and we will not leave it so long next time! Beautiful inside and out!

Tonight I am exhausted. Rob is downstairs watching the match with his mum and friend. I just want to go to sleep. I have had four amazing days but now there is a shadow starting to come over. Knowing on Friday I have chemo again fills me with dread. Sick to the stomach. Need to make the most of the next couple of days.

I am still humbled by everyone’s messages of support. Sorry, not a lot to report but thought I should post something and for someone who doesn’t have a lot to say I’ve gone on a bit! xx