The mask is back

Although this time I’m not quite sure if it’s Hannibal’s or a gimp mask. My head feels tight and has power surges pulsating all around, close to detonating!

Not feeling it today. My sugar levels still very unstable. I phoned my community diabetic nurse first thing. My lady doesn’t work Mondays and they don’t have my notes so I need to call the hospital team. So message left on their answer machine. Don’t know why they need notes for me to give them my sugar readings and tell them the medication I’m on!

I am so grumpy and snappy today. Wish I wasn’t as it makes everyone else around me the same. A day of one word answers, going to be an enjoyable day.

I want my life back. I miss everything today. Things we take for granted like getting up, dressed, going for walks, holding conversations. Having cancer is very lonely. ‘Mum’s resting’, ‘thought you were asleep’, ‘didn’t want to disturb you’. If I’m going to sleep I put my phone on silent.

Feeling very tearful and apologise if I don’t reply to people today. Don’t take it personally but I’m allowed to wallow sometimes. Hopefully when my sugar levels stabilise everything will look a bit more clearer, just surrounded in fog right now xx