Still wobbly

I know I used that title last time but it’s still current. My mouth has been the worst and not showing any sign of getting better. It is like I have put my decorations up. I have a big, bushy, garland sore running from my right ear all the way across to my left. It even has bunches of pine cone ulcers gathered along it. My mouth is so swollen and I have a permanent metallic taste. I’ve often imagined what this is like when people have said metallic taste before, boy was I way off!

It feels like I’m constantly sucking a metal bolt. When I have a drink, regardless of what it is, I may as well be drinking mercury. As my throat is so swollen and numb I often gulp a drink too quickly and it can’t all get through. There is like something stuck there. Eating is horrible too. My teeth are numb so I’m pretty much guessing that I’ve chewed enough and seem to be swallowing at the wrong times! Think I need to stick with a liquid diet for the time being but those of you who know me know I haven’t achieved this figure by sticking to a liquid diet!

This time around seems to be taking longer to recover from. I am extremely wobbly, both physically and mentally. Two of my friends from primary school popped in to see me yesterday and it was such a big lift. I wasn’t feeling great and nearly cancelled. I do feel, in some ways, ashamed of the person I’ve become. I am embarrassed of the shell that’s been left. But, I am so glad I didn’t. It was so nice. I was touched that they took time out to visit. Everyone has their own story, their own little battle/life they deal with. Was nice to feel normal for a little while. Definitely lunch next time ladies!

Last night we decided to come to our caravan. Although I’ve been up every day this week it’s been shower, pjs and sofa. The journey here was quite tough but as soon as we walked in I was glad we did. This week has been tough on Rob but being here it’s like a weight has been lifted a bit. He can relax a little too, we are actually speaking and dare I say, giggling!

We tried to go shopping this morning. I want things to be back to normal but I’m a long way from that yet. I had to keep stopping and holding on. My feet were shuffling and I felt so feeble. Stopping to cry, I’m an old lady. Falling asleep while having a cuppa was probably not too good either. The man who worked there came over and said ‘let me clear that table for you sir’. I know I have a patchy head but I am wearing a pink top!

It is the owner’s party at the caravan park tonight. I’m hoping we will make an appearance. We will have to get there early so we can get a seat although I am feeling more like the little bald one in the Lord of the Rings who hides in the cave!