Over half-way there

It’s been a pretty emotional week consisting of highs and lows. I’ve had some beautiful visitors which was lovely. I’ve also had lots of tears. I don’t know if it was because Rob was back at work or because Friday was approaching too quick. I told him Wednesday I wasn’t going to go Friday, I couldn’t do anymore and he just replied ‘yes you are, we will talk about it when I’m home’ and that was the end of that.

Wednesday the little one came home from school happy she’d been taken out of class to spend time with another teacher. She’d put a couple of notes in the ‘worry box’ saying she was sad about me. Thursday she came home again very excited that she saw her again and now has a folder. I asked her what they spoke about and she just replied ‘you’. She’s being so strong around me and I’m very grateful for the school to allow her to have this counselling. We watched DIY SOS the other night, it was about young carers. We were laying having a cuddle and she said ‘I’m a young carer as I help look after you’. Swells my heart how proud I am of my children.

Yesterday I felt sick as soon as I walked into the unit. I think it must be the lights. Usual cuppa balancing on my arm to bring those veins up. I’d drunk over 3 litres Thursday as that’s supposed to help too. As usual we saw the oncologist first. I asked that I’d noticed lots of people have scans and she replied that my type of cancer was just isolated in my breast and for as long as I’m on treatment it won’t go anywhere else. She’s making me an appointment with my consultant to discuss the radiotherapy and survival rates etc.

I then went through, didn’t get a window seat but had my back to it. Arm in bucket of hot water. They tried one vein but didn’t work. Couldn’t find another so got this handheld thing that has a red light which shows up the veins. After a bit of wiggling they got in.

This time I started feeling like rubbish before I’d even left the unit. We left four hours after arriving and I went straight to bed for an hour.

Sugar levels before dinner were 29.8 so I took double my dose. Before bed were 29.7 so took an extra 30 units and doubled my slow acting. 6 injections yesterday and I’ve got a feeling today will be more plus ketones monitoring. Gotta love the steroids.

I didn’t really get much sleep. My body was as cold as marble yet I couldn’t have the duvet on me as inside there was a raging inferno. Only 12 trips to the toilet too! I’m thinking today will be mainly horizontal. Head is heavy and spinning already.

Thank you for all your messages, it’s very comforting to know you’re all still with me on this. Have a good weekend, the sun is shining xx